I readily admit I am an addict. Addictions define our humanity, not by a sense of fear-based compulsion but by the incredible desire to service the addictive qualities of joy. Call joy what you wish: Rapture, rhapsody, ecstasy or bliss. With true joy comes an indescribable communion of body and spirit that once experienced makes us constantly reach far beyond a desire to merely survive with mundane happy smiles. Words cannot mimic the experience. It exists beyond musicians’ attempts to duplicate it. Realistic art only reflects a singular moment of longing. Abstract art where contrasting colors explode and pulsate are indicative of a desperate reach to communicate the heights of joy. As if in frustration artists often create a mood of lonely escapism that can only exist in opposition to ecstasy.
Lonely escapism creates the fire that turns ecstasy into burned-out ash.
There is no greater longing than to escape that desperate feeling of being alone with our remarkably powerful emotions. There is no greater joy than feeling loneliness melt in the arms of love. Not the love you have for the parents you learned to depend on as an infant. Not the incredible protective love you have for your own children. There is only one love that creates enough joy to defeat loneliness: Sexual love. This is the addiction that defines humanity; it provides the will to procreate, to form extended families and to build communities. This is the addiction that is most commonly abused by religions seeking to control, by despots seeking power and by corporations seeking to sell.
Being addicted to joy is a human condition. Becoming dependent on the source of joy is only tragic when it is artificial.
Two youthful, healthy and lonely strangers meet with a powerful sense of longing: A want far too personal for social and religious mores to manipulate. They have decided not to be controlled by loneliness but to defeat it with the intimate mating game designed by nature. This human desire to join and defeat loneliness is the essential addiction that needs to be controlled by intense intimate sharing. If we attempt to find escape in drugs, junk food, stereotyped gender distortions or archaic convictions our inherent addictions will be denied. We will become escapists constantly seeking refuge from the demands of want.
The destructive curse of guilt forces us to escape the reality of our addictions.
Successful religions gained control by using an imaginary, god-projected guilt to manipulate sexuality. They understood the greatest human expression of joy is the intoxicating sharing of sexuality. Sex can be truly spiritual. For most it will never be. The ancestral guilt of sexual sin has existed for centuries and continues to grow at a, often, subliminal level. The human orgasm can be honed to a majestic experience far more powerful than any other. Reaching such heights is not the quick-fix game of adolescence or immature adulthood where far too often guilt forces a quick end. The depth of orgasm can grow throughout a couple’s lifetime. But only if they understand their sexual love is exclusively a projection of their private needs governed by matching intellects and complementing sex drives.
Become the need and you control the needy.
Far too often we confine our intellects and sex drives within cages of naiveté designed by others eager to control. Profiteers or popes, truthfully all those eager to sell us on their theology or their theories of what we need to buy or where we go to pray diminish human intellect to its simplest expression. Corporations deliberately exaggerate gender differences to sell football tickets and beer to men while women go shopping for perfume and silk. Like successful religions, manipulating sexuality is a major corporate tool. They guide us to become simple needy beings divided by childlike attitudes of girls and boys that are programmed to never change as we become women and men.
Continued next blog: Bound by the sameness of difference
Our difference attracted us; not the difference between ourselves, but the way we are both different from persistent, flourishing stereotypes.